Docs Outside The Box
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Docs Outside The Box
The Tragic Loss of Malcolm-Jamal Warner & Water Safety Tips. #469 Part 1
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The sudden passing of Malcolm-Jamal Warner was a shock to most of us who grew up watching him as Theo on The Cosby Show. At just 54 years old, his drowning in Costa Rica while swimming with family serves as a stark reminder that water safety remains crucial for everyone, regardless of swimming ability or experience. Check the links below for crisis hotlines, therapist directories, and water safety information that could make all the difference in someone's life.
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LINKS MENTIONED
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline - https://988lifeline.org/
National Alliance on Mental Illness - https://www.nami.org/
To find a therapist - https://www.psychologytoday.com/
For online therapy - https://www.betterhelp.com/
If you’re griefing and need support - https://www.griefshare.org/
American Red Cross Water safety page - https://www.redcross.org/get-help/how-to-prepare-for-emergencies/types-of-emergencies/water-safety.html?srsltid=AfmBOoqkRFh8EmoeRJy7EwclvsSPzEGe_VXYRbBgO2NEGG8vEaHnjCcu
National Weather Service Rip Current Safety page - https://www.weather.gov/mhx/ripcurrentsinfo
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So student loan forgiveness is paused. Pause, son, pause In this bill and just in general, like I don't understand why average people side with billionaires they're okay with Wall Street getting a bailout, but everybody else. It has to be personal responsibility, even though, like the personal responsibility part, the person that's actually going to affect your community way more, but they're not okay with Wall Street getting a bailout.
Student Loan Forgiveness Paused
Speaker 2They're not okay with anybody getting a bailout except for themselves. But the reality is you've got to realize at some point certain decisions are going to impact you in a certain way, and that's all right. It's not to say, oh, you should agree that doctors should get a bailout or you should agree that Wall Street should get a bailout. I don't care whether or not you agree with that. I'm just saying understand what the consequences are and don't complain later on because you've been affected. Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it.
Co-Parenting Challenges and Daily Routines
Speaker 1Hey guys, what's good? Welcome to another episode of Docs Outside the Box. I'm your host, dr Nii, trauma surgeon, podcaster, entrepreneur, and in this podcast we answer all your questions about money, medicine and what's going on in pop culture. I got my lovely co-host, my wife, my ace, tired Tired, dr Renee, how you doing Tired Now you're tired. So, just so everybody knows, I just got back from an eight day straight or nine day straight stint of locums, mainly because you know I'm going to be what do you call it? We're going to be in Ghana doing a medical mission trip and yeah, so I've been front loading the schedule. So, yeah, I'm working hard. But she's at home with the kids, which anybody who spent a lot of time with an 8-year-old and a 6-year-old that's hella work, hella work. And it's camp season now, so it's camp season. You want to throw in a little bit about what you're doing right now with them.
Speaker 1Well, it's camp season and it probably wouldn't be so bad, except that the travel to one of the camps because they're not in the same camp for different reasons. Coe, coe, share it. No, I'm teasing.
Speaker 2I'm teasing, no, I'm just kidding, but the travel back and forth is part of what makes me tired. There's not a lot of time, you know, in the window of when I go to drop them off and then when I have to go pick them up and I've started, I have started exercising again. So I I'm still doing my walks. So by the time I get home there's like maybe an hour or so that I can do something before I can start, you know, getting ready for my walk, Then I walk and then maybe there's another hour, but in that time I have to like that commute.
Speaker 1That commute is 45 minutes.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah, that commute is 45 minutes and then I have to go pick them up again. So, honestly, if I'm looking at my day, my day is actually maybe two hours that I'm not doing something else. Right, that I can't you know I'm not doing things potentially for the podcast, or that I am, excuse me, doing things for the podcast in that two hours. How long does a mailman need or shut?
Speaker 2up me that I'm doing stuff for the podcast, maybe two hours. How long does a mailman need? Or shut up me that I'm doing stuff for the podcast? Maybe maybe two hours. So my my day in terms of productivity to be able to do stuff, um, without some sort of commute, either driving or walking is like two hours. So I have like a two hour day now. Yeah, it's not, that's not not, that's not enough time. That's not enough time.
Speaker 1Especially with the stuff, all the stuff that we're doing. It's just sometimes you just need like a couple hours by yourself, yeah, just to decompress, when you specifically are sending them to camp.
Speaker 2Right, that's the whole point of that.
Speaker 1You send them to camp so they have something to do. They're not on video games even though we don't do video games but they are doing something that gives you a little bit of some time to do something that you want to do.
Speaker 2Or that I need to do. It's not so much things that I want to do, some some things that I like I actually need to do.
Speaker 1But without getting into too much semantics. The things that you want to do need to do things that you do.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1Right Without the kids being around.
Speaker 2Yeah, I need more than two hours. Yeah, I need more than two hours, I get it.
Speaker 1And people who are listening. They know right, the parents who are listening to this show, single parents. You know dual parent households, dual parent households, but you're still a second parent. You know what I'm talking about, hey.
Speaker 2You can't be a dual. I know, I know I know, I know, but there are no, no, no, let's get into that we should. Let's get into it real quick.
Speaker 1Hold on because there was Real quick. So you know, nelly and Ashanti are back together.
Speaker 2Yes.
Speaker 1They have a TV show together.
Speaker 2Oh, I didn't know that, okay.
Speaker 1And the first episode. They're expecting a baby or they already have a baby.
Speaker 2Oh, she delivered already.
Speaker 1Yeah, the first episode. He made it clear they're eating dinner. He makes it clear he says listen, ashanti, I don't do diapers, I don't do, you know, poop anything like that. I will hire anybody to help you with that process. Once the child has grown up a bit, we could throw the baseball together. All of those different things that I want to do to make sure that the kid is not pooping.
Speaker 2I want to be there for that?
Speaker 1OK, Thoughts on that. Is she not a single mother at that point?
The "Married Single Mother" Debate
Speaker 2No she's not a single mother, she's absolutely not know if we've said this on the show before. But this idea of a married single mother, right, because you know the thought process is well, but I do everything in the household, I do everything for the kids, I do all these things right, and I'm going to tell you there's probably only one scenario in which the married single mother you know phenomenon is true.
Speaker 1What's that Get to that one? Because we know what you're going to say with the other one.
Speaker 2You don't know what we do Get to the point way to getting a job anytime soon, has no desire to work and he contributes nothing in terms of maintenance of the household or caring for the children. At that point, he is purely a dependent. Right? He's purely a dependent. That is the only scenario in which a married single mother is true. That's the only scenario, anything else.
Speaker 1Better be careful. You know like the gig is up on these therapists trying to give all this information on the Internet. So just know.
Speaker 2Anything else. This is my opinion. Y'all can agree, y'all can disagree, don't matter to me, it's my opinion. Anything else is likely not true. In terms of married single mother, could you be somebody who is taking on way more of the responsibility of caring for the home, caring for the children? Absolutely. But the reason it does not make you a married single mother is because if your husband is working and is contributing to the financial well-being of the household, then you are not a married single mother. Sorry, sorry, because for me that term really insults the fact that single mothers are out here taking on the financial burden on their own to maintain their households. They don't have another income.
Speaker 1So for the record, you've never said in the house that you feel like a single mother.
Speaker 2No, I've always said I don't know how single mothers do it. That I have said I don't know how single mothers do it.
Speaker 1I remember when my kids were Renee, renee, what you under oath right now, you saying that you've never said that.
Speaker 2I've never said that. Stop playing. Why are you potting right now?
Speaker 1I'm not potting because I know. I have a feeling that you've said that in the past.
Speaker 2No, so you have a feeling, you have.
Speaker 1No, I have a feeling that you've said that in the past. No, so you have a feeling you have. No, I have not. I've never said that. Guys, the reason I say that is because this woman right next to me, my co-host, my lovely co-host, who I've known for well over 20 years, don't say lovely, don't say lovely, and then move to insult me in the next sentence.
Speaker 2This woman moves in hyperbole.
Speaker 1I don't move in hyperbo.
Speaker 2There is no medium, there's nothing like that. So when she gets frustrated about a situation, everything gets described in it's most extreme form. No, that is not true.
Speaker 2No, I'm careful with my words too, so what I have said is I don't know how single mothers do it because they have the burden of doing all of the financial maintenance of the household and they have to take care of the children. The first time I ever said that was when we had a snowstorm and you were not home and I had to take the kids to daycare kids to daycare and I was like, okay, well, now I got this baby and this toddler and I have to clean the car off and I'm like how?
Speaker 2I'm like how, how does a single mother do this, especially if you don't have like our backyard. Our car is right in the backyard so I can just throw them in the car and just do it. But what if you live in in the city, like I grew up in the city? What like you got to like go through the snow, get to your car.
Speaker 1Gasoline.
Speaker 2That's crazy. I kudos Hats off.
Speaker 1Listen before we get into this show. I do want to ask you.
Speaker 2You want to start off on a bad and I should say single parents, not just single mothers, because there are single dads out there. We off that topic.
Speaker 1So do you want to start off on a bad note, or should we go?
Speaker 2We're already starting off on a bad note because you sitting here lying about me on a podcast, all right.
Malcolm Jamal Warner's Tragic Passing
Speaker 1So, guys, trigger warning. I do want to talk about Malcolm Jamal Warner. Listen, this is something that is taking a lot of people. Um, listen, this, um, this is something that is taking a lot of people causing some grief, causing you know, some, you know, just moment to pause and stuff, and, um, if you don't want to hear about this, we're not going to go over it for a long period of time. If you feel like you need to fast forward through this, I definitely get this. But, um, you know, this weekend, malcolm Jamal Warner, or, excuse me, the weekend before this, malcolm Jamal warner um actor, musician, podcaster, you know he had his own podcast I did know that um, probably best known as theo on the cosby show, passed away at the age of 54.
Speaker 1He was swimming with his family on the I guess on the ocean in Costa Rica, yeah apparently this ocean or this part of the beach, rip currents, rip tides are a big deal and something happened. He went underwater, they brought him back and you know, unfortunately they couldn't bring back life. So I'm just going to say this as someone like me and you grew up in the 80s and the 70s, in the 90s.
Speaker 1Excuse me, I was going to say this as someone like me and you grew up in the 80s and the seven in the 90s Excuse me, I was going to age you but 80s and the 90s that this guy definitely was a staple of what we saw on TV.
Speaker 2Right.
Speaker 1For me, the best TV show when I was growing up the Cosby Show, Absolutely.
Speaker 1For me the best, the best of the kids in terms of acting. I really, really appreciated his range. You know, I just, I, just I was shocked when I saw this and we're getting to that age now where our childhood, you know, heroes or the people who we watched on TV are either, you know, having these type of accidents, unfortunately, or are dying of natural causes because we all getting old and stuff. So, yeah, the one thing that I wanted to say is, you know, I think the reason why I liked his character a lot and I have here as a special note, um, the character was actually of theo was actually inspired by bill cosby's real son, ennis, who passed away.
Speaker 1Also, and you know I'm not going to get into conspiracy theories, but passed away also and you know I'm not going to get into conspiracy theories, but bill cosby had one son. He died, you know, tragically and obviously he had one tv son dies tragically, um, but ennis was the inspiration for theo who ennis had dyslexia. Theo, notably, had dyslexia on the show which he was able to overcome, become a teacher, and that's what happened at the last you know several seasons on the show. So you know it's was a report out.
Speaker 2That gave a few more details. And apparently his daughter was with him in the water and I guess some surfers noted that they were struggling. They were able to get the daughter out. They were able to get him out as well, but I guess he had gone under the surface long enough such that they couldn't revive. Now there were two doctors who were on the beach.
Speaker 1Oh, really yeah, there were two doctors on the beach who gave him CPR for over 40 minutes.
Speaker 2Yeah yeah, but unfortunately he you know he wasn't able to be revived.
Speaker 1Apparently, he was a really good swimmer. Apparently he was a really good swimmer. Really he was a really good swimmer and it lets you know if someone like him who's a really experienced swimmer, you know, I think drowning is one of those things that we don't talk about too much.
Speaker 2Right.
Water Safety and Mental Health Resources
Speaker 1Right, we see a child unfortunately drown in like a backyard pool and stuff. But you know, whether you're experienced or you're a novice, drowning is a big deal and for someone like him, you know we're talking about rip current and rip tide Like it's a big deal. It's a big deal and it's something that we need to talk about. I think the emergency medicine docs, who are listening right now, the trauma surgeons, who are listening right now, and even the critical care doctors right now and this is something that we see a bit often and it's something that we and we for me, my whole what we do is we learn off of people's deaths, you know. So for me, I just want everybody to realize how important it is for water safety training, how important it is for CPR training, AEDs those are super important.
Speaker 1And the other thing that I wanted to talk about real quick is he was a big proponent of mental health. Right, he, in his podcast, he talked about that. In other podcasts he talked about mental health and how in his podcast he talked about that. In other podcasts he talked about mental health and how it was extremely important.
Speaker 1He really focused on mental health for men right because that's another silent thing that men struggle with yeah, particularly men from you know our demographic. We don't really talk about it much for many reasons taboo, money wise and a whole bunch of different things.
Speaker 2So that's good to see that more and more, more and more men actually are talking about it. Now it's not, you know, it's it's still got its connotations, but I think that there are more and more men who are coming out talking about their mental health issues or just talking about mental health in general. Right, I mean, I know a lot of times people are like raise the price of podcasting equipment because everybody and anybody can have a podcast where they can say and do anything. But one of, I think, the benefits of having regular price podcast equipment is that you do have men who are of our demographic um, who are talking more about mental health.
Speaker 1so that that's, I think that's been a plus just don't share your social stuff, like your dating stuff, like what do you mean? Oh my god, yo like the dating.
Speaker 2That's where to raise the price on my dating.
Speaker 1The dating advice is horrible, but let me. I got some notes real quick here about water safety tips because I'm an okay swimmer. I probably can stay afloat until someone picks me up. I'm not an experienced swimmer you couldn't save my life, I couldn't save your life. You're going to have to die.
Speaker 2Oh, my God Nate.
Speaker 1Wait, if I can't swim, I don't understand.
Speaker 2Okay, but you ain't got to say that.
Speaker 1All right, listen. Swim near lifeguards whenever possible. What kind of husband is this? Avoid swimming alone. Always have a buddy. Don't be jumping in that pool by yourself.
Speaker 1Don't be jumping in that ocean by yourself. Have someone there who can always have a clear side of you. Learn how to spot and escape rip currents. This is big right. If you're caught, don't fight it. Swim parallel to the shore until you're out of the current right. So a lot of times people say, well, what does it look like? I have some resources in the show notes where you can, you know, see pictures of it. But basically the rip currents are the ones where you see like the water.
Speaker 1You see like really like white water, like the, the foamy water on one end, yeah, and then you see foamy water on another end and then in between, in between it's clear, yeah, and it's like something is going on in that in between area guys, so you got to be careful about about that yeah and then the one thing I I didn't know this. They showed this. I had to this up. They showed this at the ocean or at this particular point in time on the beach.
Speaker 2So, yes, definitely pay attention to those warnings, because a lot of times those red flags they have to do, a lot of times, I think, anyway, with rip ties or rip currents. So, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1Now with mental health. I have some other notes. Listen, I have in the show notes. We have the 988 number, the crisis lifeline. Make sure you use that if you need it right. This is for people who are struggling. If you need something to reach out, to make sure you use that if you need it right. This is for people who are struggling. If you need something to reach out, to make sure you check that out.
Speaker 1We have the National Alliance on Mental Illness. We have a place where you can find therapists. That's Psychology. Today. There's online therapy We've worked with BetterHelp in the past, but that's a good start and then there's griefshareorg and that's basically where you can get support if you're grieving through something. So other things too is you can visit the American Red Cross safety page. That's in our show notes, as well as the National Weather Service rip current safety page, and that'll give you all the different pictures of the rip currents out there what to do, videos of people who've gotten through it. So I went and checked it out myself. Um, I learned a lot of things. So you know, check that out I think it's great.
Speaker 2You know that, um, we have our kids in swim classes, right? I think that that's great. I think, if you, if you're able to invest in teaching your children and and or yourself how to swim, I think that's good. I think, though, that there's sometimes this false confidence and not saying, in this case of Malcolm Jamal Warner, because I have no clue what his swim experience was experience was but I think that there's sometimes this false confidence that people have that, because they can swim in a pool, they can swim in a lake, that they can swim in the ocean, and the ocean is a different it's just a different beast.
Speaker 2It's a different animal right, it's a different beast. And I wonder I don't know somebody write in, I'll look it up as well and and I I know that there are, you know, like surf lessons and things like that, where people actually do learn better how to handle the ocean. But I wonder, like on um a larger scale, is there? Are there classes that teach people how to swim in the ocean? Oh, I'm sure there is.
Speaker 1Specifically I'm sure there are classes. I'm sure there are classes. I'm sure there are classes on that stuff, but they're just not advertised as much.
Speaker 2I don't think no, no At least not here on the East Coast. I don't know about the West Coast, but not here on the East Coast.
Speaker 1I'll say this for and to just end with Malcolm Jamal Warner, I would just definitely say guys, learn something from this. And I would say if someone you know is struggling with mental health, or let's say, for example, you just want to learn about, you know some classes like what you're saying you know, start there, go to the show notes, check that out. He left us, excuse me, with a lot of memories. You know my favorite episode, Denise, so your favorite episode is Gordon.
Speaker 2Gartrell. Okay, gordon Gartrell, come, gordon Gartrell, come on, hit us with it a little bit. Alfred, give us a little Denise. Denise, it's over, isn't it? What is?
Speaker 1this, my favorite episode is. So I'm stuck between the. I'm stuck between the bacon burger dog.
Speaker 2Oh, bacon burger dog, bacon burger dog.
Speaker 1Yeah, I'm stuck between the bacon burger dog or the one where he kissed the other girl and he had to beg Justine to come back. Oh, justine, justine, yeah, those are my two favorite episodes. I'm not sure which one is more important. Just a lot of memories, yeah.
Speaker 2Dance mania.
Speaker 1That's a good one. He touched a lot of people.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1So, guys, let's learn something from him. Make sure you check out the show notes Get. Make sure you check out the show notes get some help.
Memorable Cosby Show Moments
Speaker 2If you feel like this resonated with you or you think it may resonate with someone else, share this portion of the episode with someone else. All right, guys Next up. We're going to be talking about how student loan forgiveness is paused and how the big beautiful bill was actually signed into law. So stay tuned for the next segment.
